[00:00:12.540] – Speaker 1
Well, hey, I’m Chris Tompkins, and welcome back to the Shaping Our World podcast. My goal is to invite you into a conversation that will leave you more confident in understanding and inspiring the young people in your life. Each episode, we talk with leading experts and offer relevant resources to dive deeper into the world of our youth today. Today, we’re talking to Dr. Robin Baweja. Robin has over 12 years of medical experience and currently practises out of the Kids Care Clinic in Whitby, Ontario. Being a Toronto native, Dr. Baweja has enjoyed being able to open up her practice where she grew up. She’s a published author of three children’s books and is the founder of Dear Mommy, a platform that leverages her experience to share valuable information about children’s mental health, specializing in anxiety, ADHD, depression, mood disorders, autism, intellectual disability, and developmental disorders. I think a lot of parents and caregivers are going to be interested in learning how to recognize when their kids are experiencing mental health challenges, and also tips and resources for helping them deal with challenges and even getting ahead of them and being preventative. Before we meet our guest, a quick word about an opportunity at Muskoka Woods.
[00:01:30.250] – Speaker 1
Starting as a staff member here, I found it to be more than just a job. I discovered a pathway to personal and professional growth. We are committed to intentional staff development, providing training, and building a network that can propel your career forward. Imagine working where you’re nurtured to grow with access to amazing facilities and staff care events. If you’re seeking a role that prepares you for what’s next, visit jobs.muskokawoods.com for more details. Now, let’s get into the heart of our show. Welcome to the show, Robin. It’s so great to have you.
[00:02:05.390] – Speaker 2
Thank you so much for having me.
[00:02:07.070] – Speaker 1
Looking forward to this conversation and everything you have to offer from your experience. But before we get into some of the real meat of the content, I’d love for our listeners to get to know you a little bit better. What shaped your world when you were growing up, when you’re a kid or a teenager? What were the big influences in your life?
[00:02:23.080] – Speaker 2
It’s a great question, but I think my first instinct is my parents, I think, to be honest. I think that’s who I remember They were just amazing individuals who really took the time out to nurture me, to parent me in a way that I think was very consistent. And now that I’m a mum myself, I’m a paediatrician, and I have kids of my own, I just realise how important that parenting part is to anybody’s life. And I think then when I reflect back to my own childhood, I just clearly remember two loving parents who They were nothing short than incredible. They were consistent. They were there for me on a daily basis. I can’t even remember days where I don’t remember seeing them. They were just present. I think that present to me humbled me, and it made me and it provided me a very good safety net growing up, and I think I really appreciate that now that I’m older.
[00:03:21.660] – Speaker 1
What’s shaping your world today? Tell us a little bit about you.
[00:03:26.190] – Speaker 2
I’m a paediatrician. Just growing up, I’ve always wanted to be a paediatrician, so that was a no-brainer for me. But the world and the footing that I took really took shape in the last five years, where when I first started paediatrics, I was definitely just more general paediatric doing some hospital work, some primary medical care. But close around the birth of my twins, and this was also around the time of COVID, I started to formulate more of a patient base that was dedicated towards mental health. I’ve always been drawn to mental health, so that was something that I really loved participating in with my patients, but it really took shape, especially during COVID, because this is when a lot of fears and worries were there, and I just had more time to dedicate to my patients because everything was remote. And my practise just completely changed after that.
[00:04:25.030] – Speaker 1
So maybe unpacking that a little bit more, what do you think it is behind mind mental health as a paediatrician, as someone who’s giving your life for the health and well-being of others, and particularly children and kids, what drew you to being an advocate and really helping parents and kids with mental health?
[00:04:45.100] – Speaker 2
Well, I think I realised over the course of my starting paediatrics that a child’s well-being, originally when you first go into medicine, you always just think about the physical aspect of medicine and trying to treat their colds or their illnesses and their cough, their runny noise, or their joint pain. But then I soon realised, especially for a child, a lot of my work had to go into just making them comfortable and making the parents comfortable and walking to a room and making sure that they knew that I was a safe person and that they understood that I wasn’t there to harm them. And so a lot of my teaching and my education already was very primarily based on mental health, but I I directly didn’t understand that until as I had my own children. And I think when I started to be a mum and I understood how important my role is and how I can shape their world and how my mental health alone can influence their mental health, I really started to understand the connexion. And then I took that practise into my own medical practise and understanding that my role is quite pivotal.
[00:06:00.160] – Speaker 2
If I could connect the dots for parents and make them understand how pivotal of a role they have with their own children’s mental health, I think a lot of times we can make such a big difference. Also understanding the connexion between mental health and physical health, because a lot of times a child’s physical health is not really well understood unless you start digging deep into their feelings and their emotions. And so if I connect the dots for parents, I I started to really make more of an impact, which was that’s where I started to become really passionate about it.
[00:06:37.910] – Speaker 1
It’s awesome and I think it really needed in our day and age. And when we talk about mental health, often these topics come up because it’s something that is appearing more in regular life conversations, media, research projects. I was reading just the other day that one in five kids in Canada deals with some mental health challenge or issue. Maybe help us paint a picture of your experience and what that looks like. What are the mental health challenges that kids are dealing? Because mental health is a really broad category. When we say mental health and young people struggling with it, what does that look like?
[00:07:18.220] – Speaker 2
Sure. I think to further that, I think I would like to touch upon what we call mental health literacy. I think that’s been my biggest platform at this point is is trying to educate not just parents, but teachers and social workers and anybody that I come across on a daily basis that really impacts a child is just understanding what mental health literacy is. It’s really trying to connect. It’s not just about, like you said, understanding what a mental health disorder is, but then how to incorporate the strategies and how to build on it, how to build resilience, and how to be preventative as well, because it’s not just about recognising recognising the mental health, but how can we also prevent it? Because that’s a big thing, especially in children. Because a lot of times in adults, if you think about it, most of our adulthood is built on blocks that would have happened in our childhood and the triggers that we see and the events that took place when we were a child, then affect us as adults. So if we can really understand how to navigate that in the childhood era, which is where I come in and possibly I think we could really make a good impact.
[00:08:32.800] – Speaker 2
And so that one in five statistic is probably on point when it comes to what I see. I’ve made it a point now to touch upon with most kids. I think these days, mental health, it’s blurred the lines because I generally just ask now, How is your mental health? I don’t really ask, Do you have any challenges? I just ask broadly, How are you feeling? From a mental health perspective.
[00:08:59.380] – Speaker 1
What When your patients answer that, what are some of the things that you’re seeing?
[00:09:05.120] – Speaker 2
Well, I think first, most parents and patients actually appreciate the fact that I’m even addressing that because I’m not just asking how they’re feeling. I’m asking, How is your mental health which I think is very directed. And they come to see a paediatrician and they’re thinking that maybe they’re there just for their physical health, and they don’t really connect it that I’m actually also wanting to know about a different aspect of their life, which I think for some kids, they take a step back. They’re like, oh, that’s nice of you to ask. And even parents, and now most people know when they come to see me, they are probably being seen by me because of their mental health. But I think in general, even if I’m just seeing a child for a well-child checkup, I think they appreciate that. So I think it has to be a part of now, even for health professionals, to change the wording of what we ask. It’s not just about, How are you feeling? It’s about, Well, talk to me about your mental health. What does that mean? How are you feeling? Are you calm most days? Are you happy most days?
[00:10:06.180] – Speaker 2
What are the challenges that you might face on a day-to-day? It definitely does look different because for me, I definitely have a couple of developmental phases that I treat. I have the younger kids between zero to four or five, and then you have a different age group between Grade 1 to maybe grade five, and then you have the preteens and then the teens and then the teens and then the transitional age to the adulthood. So I definitely see a variation, and I have to be cognizant of that when I ask them the question because their challenges are going to be very different.
[00:10:43.480] – Speaker 1
I think that’s interesting And I was going to ask about how old are your youngest patients. And I think as you unpack that spectrum for us, it is interesting to know, how does mental health literacy impact a child’s ability to answer those questions? Are you finding that kids are more adapted to be able to have those conversations with you? And then as you go through the spectrum, how does that change for kids as they unpack their mental health with you? Are there certain things in those developmental windows that you see more frequently than others?
[00:11:22.190] – Speaker 2
Yeah. So what shocked me the most was that I think the first child I probably remember seeing where I saw a clear evidence of trauma or anxiety, not the normal type of separation anxiety that we see in some kids, but just true trauma was probably three and a half, four. I think that really struck me because I understood how impactful our environment can be on us. I think why children’s mental health is probably or wasn’t at the forefront for a while is because we just think, Oh, they’re children, and they’ll be fine, and they’ll brush it off, or they’ll forget tomorrow or the next day. I still get that quite a bit. Where parents don’t recognise that certain things that had happened in a child’s life two years ago, a parent might not even realise that it’s affecting them still. It’s a trigger. I always call it like a stamp in our body where trauma sometimes just does that and it lowers your threshold for stress. They might not, as a child, understand that until they start facing literally little things now, and whether it’s bullying or whether it’s just friendship issues, like normal kids stuff.
[00:12:36.500] – Speaker 2
But now their threshold is lower because things have happened to them. Then we see how true mental health can affect a child.
[00:12:45.930] – Speaker 1
Do you feel like that connects with our understanding of physical childhood stuff, too? My daughter, if she fell, I’d look over and be like, Are you okay? And she was like, Yeah. I’m like, Okay, perfect. Moving on where is it my dad falls? He’s 75. I’m like, Quick, let’s get the X-ray machine out. This could be bad. Do you think that plays into that a little bit?
[00:13:07.630] – Speaker 2
Yeah, it’s interesting. I never thought about it that way. But now when I really put it into perspective, when I realise, I think Mental health actually is more impactful because you’re right, kids can be quite resilient when it comes to the physical aspect. And like you said, if they’re injured and they bounce back quite fast, because I think that it’s that pain response where from a pain perspective, they don’t remember that pain unless they get hurt again. But they would remember that anxiety that happens with pain. I think the reason is when I think about what mental health does, if it’s connecting the inward, and I really talk a lot about that with my parents, is stress elicits a fight or fight response. Stress is good for the body, not saying that stress is bad by any means, but when it’s impactful enough and you’ve lowered threshold. For instance, if you hear a loud noise or a fire cracker, for instance, in anybody, your heart starts to race and you start to get a little sweaty and your people’s dilate and all the things that our body is meant to do. But if you’re a child who is very triggered already and has a lower threshold, that alone can elicit sometimes an anxiety attack.
[00:14:23.770] – Speaker 2
It just makes your mental health or your response to mental health a little bit different.
[00:14:30.610] – Speaker 1
Well, and I think I love how you talked about an incident or a trauma can really stamp, I think is the word you used. In our brain, and our brain is different than our body, right? So when you talk about these young younger kids who may be imprinted with an issue, how does a parent discern between, okay, they’re just a kid, they’ll be fine, and, oh, this is something I really need to pay attention to? Obviously, the level of trauma or incident would be part of that. But is there anything parents can look for and watch so that they’re not just saying, oh, they’re a kid, they’ll forget about it in two days. And they’re also not on the other end of the spectrum, constantly bringing someone to you that is just a natural part of navigating life and becoming resilient to the things that we face in elementary school or on the playground or whatever?
[00:15:24.830] – Speaker 2
Yeah, those are actually good questions because I get both of those. And it’s really hard sometimes. I think it’s just for… I mean, my job is to definitely just reassure and try to elicit the ones that are being impacted enough where they need more follow-up. But it’s also my job to tell parents that I think this is a normal part of their development. I think what you’re doing is fine. I think what I really want to emphasise with most parents is that be mindful daily. It’s exhausting. We already have tough jobs as parents to just keep everything intact, down to their nutrition and their physical health and all this stuff. But now I’m adding mental health to that. But what I realised, especially as a parent, is that I have to make that a part of my everyday routine with them. And I can’t just let things slide and just assume that things are going to be fine. So for instance, I have my eldest daughter who’s 10 and I have my twins who are five. I’m not as on it with the twins because I can monitor them by just watching them. But my daughter, who’s now in a different development, I definitely am talking a lot more.
[00:16:32.200] – Speaker 2
I’m asking her about her day constantly, and if I see something that’s a little off, I’m pressing her a bit. And what I’m trying to do is prevent things from leading into things that could be more later down the road, if that makes sense. And when I see parents, I tell them, You’re here. That’s amazing that you’re even here, that you brought your child in to even get assessed. And that’s the first thing because a lot of parents get worried that they waited too long or they’re being judged or there’s a stigma behind mental health. I hear a lot of that. And so I said, your first job, the first thing is I’m proud that you guys are here, that you’re seeking help, and let’s target it from that. And I think when I tell parents, when you know that things are taking a turn for when you probably need to seek help is when it’s starting to impact your child’s routine in any way. So if they’re starting to skip meals, not wanting to go to school, complaining a little bit about some illness like abdominal pain or having some frequent headaches or withdrawing to the room a little bit too much and not wanting to come out, not communicating And just doing the things that as a parent, you’re like, that’s funny because they normally would do that, but all of a sudden now they’re not doing that.
[00:17:53.210] – Speaker 2
So that’s a clear, probably, indicator to me that they probably have something going on and it’s probably good to seek help.
[00:18:00.960] – Speaker 1
As we’re recording this, we are five years out from the pandemic, and it’s almost been impossible to have these types of conversations without at least referring back to them. And I’m wondering if you can give some of your perspective on the impact from the pandemic in the terms of kids mental health. And I know a lot of it was pretty acute. We’ve had conversations, you probably haven’t heard me say this, but at our camp, the year we opened back up in 2021 in the summer, we would have med lanes because we weren’t letting parents get out of the car and walk around. And so we had to take medication before they came. And the Medline was so long. And just our health care administrator and the doctor who was our camp doctor at the time, we just started to get into a conversation of how… And we saw it in our camp population, just a rise in SSRIs that kids were taking at the time. And it just for me, that was a moment, Robin, where I was like, oh, wow. Of course, I knew it. But when you see it in that, you literally physically see the line of cars.
[00:19:15.320] – Speaker 1
And so many of them were handing in the anti-anxiety or depression medication that they were on. We’re like, oh, this has had an impact. And so from your perspective, how did the pandemic shift kids mental health? Are we still seeing the impact of that with kids today?
[00:19:33.020] – Speaker 2
Definitely. The pandemic was a start for me where I saw a clear rise in anxiety, depression, just delays and emotional dysregulation. And whether it was triggering between the parents and the child or just their environment, either way, we definitely saw and just being socially isolated. But interestingly, I did have a subpopulation who loved that they got to stay home. These were the children that already had anxiety issues and already were facing bullying prior to COVID and the fact that now they get to stay home. So it was interesting because I saw this dual subset of patients that one was just, this is so horrible, this is devastating. And to another population, it was like a relief that they didn’t have to go to school. And so that particular population, I feel, is still struggling a bit. And the reason is, is because following COVID, obviously, the return back to school was in play. And I think schools allowed some lag between students going back to school. But now there’s been a clear push from last year, especially that most kids have to be back in school now. They’re not giving as much leeway. And that’s the shift that I’ve seen for those patients that were really enjoying the fact that they could be home and do remote learning.
[00:20:58.260] – Speaker 2
And now those are the patients that are now being pushed back into school. And that’s where I see some anxiety coming back in those patients because some of it with their triggers were being helped by being home. Interesting. And now we’re forcing. And I still see quite some patients that are still remote learning and some parents who still continue to homeschool, which I don’t have an opinion either way. I support whatever the family supports as long as it’s good for the child and it’s good for the family. However, when it’s perpetuating something where it’s continuing a cycle of anxiety and depression, which is not favourable for the child, then I think it’s time to push the child back into a social setting. But that That’s still the population that I still get a little worried about.
[00:21:48.740] – Speaker 1
That’s fascinating because I never had really thought of it from that perspective. That, yes, there were kids that didn’t struggle in the pandemic, and And now going back, it’s a major adjustment.
[00:22:03.670] – Speaker 2
Exactly. Yeah, I never expected that, too, but it was interesting when I saw that shift. And I spent more time, I think, in the last two years helping those families transition back into school. But again, it’s working with the family and trying to see what’s best for the child and the family versus anything else, right?
[00:22:26.540] – Speaker 1
What advice would you give to a parent whose child has is in that category of like, I’m now having to go back to school?
[00:22:35.880] – Speaker 2
Looking back at the patients, I think it’s time. I think I tried to spend a lot of time with the family and trying to get a clear understanding of what is it about the home? If I can get an understanding of, is it just the lifestyle? When you have some teens, for instance, they’ve gotten too comfortable being home, so are they actually getting up in the morning? Are they Are they ready? Are they brushing their teeth? Are they logging on on time? Are they finishing their homework? Because if they’re not doing that, that’s still a responsibility of school. We have to set some clear boundaries. We emphasise that school is still a responsibility. You can’t just take that away. I really try to work with the family to try to make that a part of… And if they’re not clearly going to engage in that at home, then that’s the push of like, Okay, well, then we got to go back to And so we try to work with the school as well. They do have these integration plans back into school. They have lots of ways that the school can help facilitate the process, where sometimes kids can just do half days, sometimes kids can just go for the lesson and then complete their homework at home.
[00:23:50.320] – Speaker 2
So lots of avenues that certain patients have taken to go back. And unfortunately, there are some kids where we’ve just had to start medication because their anxiety was quite pronounced. And facilitating that did help in some cases. So that was just necessary in various families. But at the same time, just working with the family and time and trying to get an understanding of why their issue with school, what is the true issue, and what is their goals, and helping them to facilitate back, to go back into it. Because I still think that, socially speaking, it is still good for a child to be in a like that.
[00:24:34.030] – Speaker 1
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[00:25:25.700] – Speaker 2
I think it’s definitely getting better. I created this My Dear Mommy platform four or five years ago, and that came around the time that I published my first book. And the reason why I dived into that is because what I found was the biggest missing was that I felt like I had zero resources around me. I would be very good at recognising the symptoms, diagnosing anxiety, ADHD, autism, the whole bit. But then I didn’t have anything to give my parents. I would give them a list of resources with waitlist, and they would just be like, Well, what do we do with this? And so that was what was frustrating for me was that the recognition is there. I think a lot of us are now more aware of the mental health and how to diagnose and don’t fear, especially when it comes to a child, it does exist, and we should be very forthcoming with it. But I still think there is the lack of transition into the community and connecting the dots between the schools and the external resources. I feel quite sometimes helpless when I talk to teachers, especially because they feel at a loss.
[00:26:42.140] – Speaker 2
They’re handling a lot in the school environment, and they have to handle now mental health, and then they have to be the counsellor and the resources, and they just don’t have the facilities to do that. And on top of that, the external resources around us. I mean, each community can be different, but at least where I am, the community resources are pretty scarce. We, as the providers, end up being one of the primary resources, which is not always effective. I think that’s definitely lacking still. But I do think the awareness is becoming better. I think parents are definitely trying to bring in their kids and recognising that mental health is real and that they have to get into it early. I think when I tried to also explain to most parents is that when you have a child that has mental health challenges, most likely you as a parent do as well. That’s also a very big conversation I have to have. I think when I start to do that with the parents, it’s more impactful for the family because they start to recognise a lot of their challenges as well. And then it becomes more of an open communication in the house, which, again, it’s just breaking the barriers, right?
[00:28:06.290] – Speaker 2
Yeah.
[00:28:07.510] – Speaker 1
Thanks for unpacking what you do and the drive behind that. It’s so encouraging. And you As you mentioned, you have a lot of products and materials available at deermommy. Ca. And among those, there are two books, including I Have Feelings, too, and Shon’s What Ifs. Can you tell us a little bit about those books? Why you wrote them, what they’re about, what a parent could expect if they get them and read them with their kids?
[00:28:35.950] – Speaker 2
Sure. So the first book, Shon’s What Ifs, was actually my first published book. And that came out of COVID, actually, because I had the opportunity to be home with my twins when they were one. And I always knew I wanted to write a book, but I just didn’t have really a concept or an idea. And then I just had these two funny little kids running around, and they each had such good personalities. It was interesting because exactly how they’re portrayed in the book is how they are in real life, where my son is the nervous one, he’s a little bit of the anxious one. Then you have my daughter, who is very resilient and just lets things She just rides the day and just goes with whatever. I just said this is perfect because I’m playing in the boy and a girl, so it plays a little bit on gender roles as well with mental health. I just started My initial book was on anxiety because at the time, of course, anxiety was pretty prevalent around COVID. And it talks just about separation anxiety and social anxiety and general anxiety, which are the three major forms of anxiety.
[00:29:44.320] – Speaker 2
And what I really wanted to do differently with my books is that there’s lots of great books out there, and I read them all and I bring them home to my kids. But sometimes kids just need to be in an environment that they recognise a bit. So putting them into a home, putting them into a school, and somehow it becomes familiar for them and they can relate to it, as opposed to just feelings in the clouds and things that sometimes other books can do, which are great. But I wanted to really just hone in on the simple aspect of where a child can develop anxiety. It’s pretty real when they move to a new home. It’s pretty real when they to a new school and what that looks like and simple strategies that a child can use that could help them along. And this opens up the conversation in the home, which is the intention behind the book. And then I Have Feelings, too, it’s a new book. It’s my board book. And that was just getting kids who are pre-kindergarten, pre-k, daycare level, just to expand their vocabulary, because I think we don’t do enough with that population.
[00:31:06.020] – Speaker 2
I think, as we said, we’re just like, oh, they’re so small, they don’t know things yet, and they’ll just grow into it. But when you think about it, when they’re in daycare and they’re in their early years, we’re teaching them how to do one, two, three. We’re teaching them their alphabets. So why are we not teaching them about the emotions at that age group? It’s the same thing. It’s emotional literacy. And there’s a very big push in the Nordic countries, actually, to promote emotional literacy. They started really early. And I don’t think we do that here enough. And I think we need to start in the daycares. We need to start in the kindergarten settings where we talk about emotions and we connect the dots for the kids and we make them understand that what does happy mean and what does sad mean and what does excited mean and what does your body feel? And that’s really the big talk that I have with parents.
[00:32:02.180] – Speaker 1
As someone who moved every two years from age five to age 13, 14 to different schools, different homes, different countries, I can say But that would have been a really good book, Shon’s What Fs, to process some of that. Who’s now just actually, and without giving too many my personal information, Robin, I’m just unpacking in my 40s. There are some emotions and feelings that were imprinted on me in that season of life. It was very positive part of my upbringing, but I think to be able to go back and to go, Oh, yeah, it actually does have an impact as well. Well done on that front for sure. And so I noticed your books and products are targeted at a younger audience. And so we talked about this earlier, but on this show, we often find ourselves defaulting to talk about the teen, pre-teenages around mental health when sometimes that feels a bit more acute, but you’re trying to get ahead of some of these things and give young people literacy and language and perspective and parents at a younger age. So So how do you approach mental health support differently for younger kids than maybe compared to teenagers?
[00:33:22.200] – Speaker 2
Well, I think it’s just with kids, especially when they’re younger, you really don’t have to do a whole lot. But I think it’s just thinking simple, getting down to their level, giving them emotions to talk about, but not just the basic emotions. Take it more than happy, sad. Let’s talk about being humble. Let’s talk about being bored. Let’s talk about being nervous. What does anxiety really mean? Teach your child that. Me, my twins are five, and I have the emotional plush cube. And that was the understanding behind that was giving… Because I remember I gave the plush cube to my son’s Montessori, and she took it. It’s interesting because she’s been practising for 30 years. Well, as a teacher, sorry. She stopped me and she said she doesn’t like… I have the emotion bored on it. She was like, I don’t like the bored. I was like, Why? I was like, That’s a very common thing that kids should be saying, because I think when they’re bored, that’s when they start to act out. If you tell kids what the meaning of bored is, imagine if your child comes to you and says, Mum, I’m bored.
[00:34:29.770] – Speaker 2
Bored versus throwing something or just acting out. I mean, that’s just amazing. But that’s what she was saying. She’s like, Now the kids are just going around saying that they’re bored the whole day. I was like, Okay, well. But that’s good, right? I’m like, it’s just giving them- At least you know where they’re at. Exactly. But you have to make them understand what that means. At our age, I think for that age group, especially, they’re not really given that many words to think about. They’re just like, Oh, it’s just happy. But give them more words. Give them the silly, give them the excited, give them all the words that they… Because they’ll know it, right? They’ll figure it out. And I think if they are able to effectively communicate better with you as a parent, imagine that as a parent, you can then effectively parent them better.
[00:35:17.880] – Speaker 1
One of the favourite topics that always comes up when we talk about this is social media and screen time. And there’s a lot of research out there now. And I can feel the tide shifting from academia into mainstream. Hey, there’s a bit of a red alarm going off here that we need to pay attention. And before it was this broad fear of the unknown, I think. And now it’s like, no, there’s some data and research coming out about, again, social media, it plays a role in our life. It has great advantages. Being on a screen helped us navigate the pandemic from being able to connect with family members to even doing school. So this This isn’t a bad, good thing, but from your perspective as a practitioner, what’s your advice and perspective on that?
[00:36:07.040] – Speaker 2
Yeah, it’s actually quite apparent, and that’s my biggest thing that I’m dealing with at this point is that screen time, because there’s probably going to be almost, I’m going to say, all my kids that have some level of anxiety or ADHD or depression at a younger age, pre-teen, If I really dig into their screen time, most likely I’m going to get that my child’s on the screen all the time. She has a phone, he has a phone, he’s constantly on video games. They’re on TikTok, they’re on YouTube or all the apps that they have. And that is a big correlation. So it’s a talk that I have at least five, six times a day about boundaries. And because screen time now, it’s just I don’t even ask the question, how many hours you have because it’s pretty much all day long. They have it all day long at school. It used to be a question we asked, and we used to say that one to two hours should be the max, but that’s not even feasible anymore because they need it at school, and there’s so many parts of their life that they need the screen time.
[00:37:18.790] – Speaker 2
But where do you catch the boundaries? How do you, as a parent, enforce it? It’s really difficult for a parent. I even find the same way. It’s really difficult for me to stop it in my own home. So it’s definitely very impactful. I don’t know, to be honest, I don’t have the right answer for that one yet, except just if you don’t want it in your home, to be honest, don’t bring it in your home. I’ve had a couple of families who have pursued that, and it worked, where they’re not influenced, they don’t have it as part of their everyday. But again, really hard to do, especially in this day and age.
[00:37:54.850] – Speaker 1
And I think there’s a bit of a vicious cycle with it with anxiety. And again, you’re a professional, not necessarily Really me. But I know for myself, there’s a bit of a self-soothing behaviour with social media that can kick in. I feel like for kids, they don’t know any better. They know the stimulus that it creates, but it actually can be working against the anxiety or with it because it’s actually not helping you navigate it. You’re just soothing yourself from what you feel and escaping. And then that just makes on some level, dopamine hits or whatever makes you feel a little bit better. And then that’s that cycle that’s really hard to break out of.
[00:38:35.550] – Speaker 2
Well, I don’t think kids really understand mentally how much if they see something on Instagram or if they see a picture, right? And I’ll talk to a child or someone about what triggered you this week or why did you have that panic attack? And a lot of times kids don’t even know. But if you start to really understand and if you really wanted to go deeper, it could have been something they saw three, four days ago on a picture of their friend posting of them going to a party that they weren’t invited to. Just very simple, right? But for a child who already has anxiety or depression tendencies, three, four days later, it festers in them. And that’s when you start to get that out of control. And then they can’t… And as a child, you don’t recognise it, right? You don’t really correlate the two together. But for me, as a professional, I know exactly where that trigger came from. Yeah.
[00:39:30.660] – Speaker 1
So I want to wrap up our conversation. It’s been really insightful and helpful. We mentioned this earlier, and just wondering if you have any advice for parents if they suspect, as you talked about, they’ve got younger children, particularly, and they’ve noticed that some of the routine and behaviours are changing a little bit. What can parents do if they suspect that their child is struggling with their mental health? What’s some best advice around that?
[00:39:56.820] – Speaker 2
I think I tell parents to engage with their teacher, especially if they’re in full-time school, only because they do spend a great deal of their day at school. Try to get some insight to see if they’re exhibiting the same level of behaviour at school. That’s one key thing. If they’re having any behaviour they’re challenges or they’re quiet or they’re withdrawn, something, school is a good option. And then I really think that if you guys can have open communications in the house itself, so find some non-assuming times of the day. So I like to use my morning drives to school to really set the tone of the day. That’s really a big thing for me because I find that if I can… I don’t like to send my child to school when they’re upset or sad, and I really try to make that car ride, even if it’s a five-minute car ride, fun and exciting, and I can send them to school a little bit more carefree and happy. And if I feel like they’re not, I really try to take the time in the morning to just make them feel comfortable people, make them feel safe.
[00:41:01.770] – Speaker 2
If they need to call me, they can. That drive home is another way. If you notice that something’s off, don’t go home. Just maybe take them for a bite to eat or take them for coffee or take them to the mall and do a walk around and try to see if you can get some stuff out of them. Just keep pressing. Bedtime is also a really strong sense of time when kids start to relax, but that’s also when kids’ anxiety comes out the most. If you can dedicate some time around bedtime, that’s also a good way. If you feel that you’re just not getting anywhere or you sense that things are just changing, then that’s when you should make that appointment with your doctor.
[00:41:46.090] – Speaker 1
And so you’ve mentioned a few times about as parents, our own mental health, and we’ve talked about preventative, positive mental health as well. What are some simple daily things that we can do as parents and families that foster the support of kids mental health and their well-being?
[00:42:07.220] – Speaker 2
So it’s good because that’s actually something that I’ve been working on myself because I realised as I’ve gone through this process, and it’s my journey, right? I’ve suffered my own anxiety and have other things that I’ve been challenged with. And so understanding that my role as a parent is very pivotal. And I have so much I can shape my child in very… It’s just miraculous of how much influence I can have on my child. It’s actually quite scary sometimes when I think about it. And because of that, I think I really try daily, probably minute by minute, to work on me because I understand that my tone and my ability to parent and be human and be a friend and be all the things that I need to be, my kids are watching. So I think it’s a daily check-in for myself. And just remember, I tell parents, you have the ability to reset the next morning. You can have your bad day. I have my bad days. Sometimes I do get upset. I do yell. I get sometimes a little worked up. But if I do that, I need to have insight that I did it and take ownership of it and then go to my child and explain to them where that was coming from and say, you’re sorry.
[00:43:29.010] – Speaker 2
That’s okay. You should be able to. But reset, reset in the morning and set your intention for that day and say, okay, this is how I’m going to change. This is how I’m going to make things different. You have the ability to do it, but it just takes a lot of work and insight.
[00:43:45.960] – Speaker 1
The best advice I ever got from, actually, my therapist was, as I was about to navigate some tension or struggles with my daughter and how she’s doing, manage my own anxiety before I enter into that conversation. Because as parents, when our kids are not doing well or whatever, it can create stress in us as well. I know that’s something that I’m always aware of is how I’m showing up to conversations in the regular ebbs and flows of life, but also when things are getting tense or there’s an issue that’s emerging, it’s like, Man, it’s really easy for me to let my own stuff leak out, and that never makes it go well. No. It’s like gas on a fire, right? And so how do I slowly enter and manage how I’m doing when really important conversations or things are coming up in our own home has always been something that stuck with me. So, yeah, thanks for that. And Robin, this has been a great conversation. And as we wrap up, I’d love to direct parents to deermummy. Ca as a place that they can get some more resources and the work that you’re working on.
[00:45:00.530] – Speaker 1
And I’m sure if, well, I don’t know how busy your practise is, but if anyone’s listening from the GTA and are out in the East, then I’m sure they can look you up as a doctor as well. So I wanted to just hear from you last. Do you have any final thoughts, words of encouragement for parents who are really in the thick of it right now, working through some challenges with their kids at home or at school. What would you say just to encourage them as we wrap up our conversation?
[00:45:28.980] – Speaker 2
So words of encouragement is that if you can do this, I know that it’s challenging and it can be exhausting and overwhelming and tears and all the things. But I think for some parents, they feel quite defeated. And I try to make them understand that, again, your presence, you should not feel defeated and you have the ability to change and you can have the ability to reset. So if the first steps always to ask for help, to seek help, and to bring your child, and recognising that there can be something that can be done. I think that is probably the most encouraging thing that I can tell a parent is that when they show up and they bring their child in and they recognise that there’s a problem or there’s a challenge, then that’s the first step. And so encourage that and block out the noise and making sure that mental health is quite real and it can be quite impactful. And if you see that and you understand that it could be affecting your child, seek the help out. It’s never too late.
[00:46:38.010] – Speaker 1
That’s great. Thank you, Dr.. Robin, and thank you for this conversation. It’s been so encouraging and so many useful perspectives and tips for families and parents. And thanks for continuing to advocate for young people in mental health and keep putting those resources out. I know they’re helping. So thank you so much for all you do and for your time today.
[00:46:59.830] – Speaker 2
Thank you. It was so nice to be here. Thank you so much.
[00:47:07.510] – Speaker 1
Well, that’s a wrap on today’s episode. What a great conversation with so many helpful tips, especially if you’re parents of younger children. If you want to keep the conversation going or maybe you’re interested in another guest or topic that we’ve had on the podcast, why don’t you head over to moscokawoods. Com, where you find a blog post for every episode full of highlights, key takeaways, and a link to listen again. While you’re there, make sure you explore how Miscoka Woods is creating life-changing experiences for young people. Don’t forget to subscribe and share, and we’ll catch you next time.
